Franke: The Lost Art of Conversation
by Mark Franke
Conversation, that lost art of genteel people discussing whatever in an enjoyable context, should be on the endangered species list. It’s a rare day when I find a group and topic appealing enough to claim my sustained attention.
That sounds snobbish, I know, but I don’t mean it to be. The fault is mine as I refuse to change with the times. We’ve become a society of 24-hour news, social media, memes and soundbites. Perhaps it’s my age; I have difficulty keeping up with what’s happening now, that expression itself dating me.
Refusing to keep up, I blame my slowing mental processes as I age but even I don’t buy that excuse. Instead, I have developed a theory that it is my lack of interest in or knowledge of today’s popular conversational topics at the root of my dystopian outlook.
This theory, like others, requires systematic testing in laboratory conditions. But as I am too lazy to do that, I instead constructed my own field test to determine the most popular discussion subjects. Where do people tend to talk the most and the longest? I could only think of one place — I asked the bartender at my local American Legion post. Here is her list of what she hears most often:
Politics — This came as no surprise as number one on the list. I have lost all interest in politics, not knowing whether to treat it as high comedy or low tragedy as if we are stuck in a Shakespearean play. I do screw up the courage to vote every May and November but, truth be told, I often vote for the least objectionable candidates. All bad candidates are not equal; some are truly dangerous threats to my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
Sports — This was a close second and supports my thesis. I don’t have any interest in sports (except for the divinely ordained one of baseball, of course). I try to show interest, if only to know when to nod sagely when someone pronounces an opinion that is meaningless to me. I find it impossible to follow any team that did not exist in 1959, the year before the world began its descent into cultural barbarism. When I think about how much disposable income is spent on professional and college sports, let alone non-disposable income appropriated by taxing authorities to provide the infrastructure for all those palaces of competition, my mind flashes back to imperial Rome and its public spectacles as soporifics for the mob.
Gun laws — This was an American Legion post, so Second Amendment rights are high on the list of the liberties these veterans fought to preserve. I don’t own a gun and didn’t even know the local gun-carry laws until the bartender explained them. The right to do something, by definition, inheres the right not to do it so I support Second Amendment rights in the abstract at least.
TV shows — This wasn’t on her list, but while I was writing this several additional members showed up and immediately compared notes about their favorite series on one of the ubiquitous streaming services. Make this prosecution exhibit four. I watch almost no television, agreeing with Newton Minow’s indictment of it as a “vast wasteland” of senseless violence, mindless comedy and offensive advertising. When I do watch, it is at my wife’s instigation since she sees shared TV watching as a marital obligation.
Note that religion did not make the list. This is a sad commentary on our increasingly secularized society, one that neither needs nor wants God in charge. And how is that turning out for us?
I find solace in the past, seeing (or imagining) a simpler, purer time when one needn’t run at full speed to barely keep up. I fantasize about being a member of the Algonquin Round Table in the 1920s, where wit was the coin of the realm. If they couldn’t be serious, at least they could be clever. We, meanwhile, are reduced to loving or hating Donald Trump in 30 seconds or less.
The complaint is mine so the solution must be mine as well. In this I have been helped by a group of like-minded friends. I wrote this as the Indiana Policy Review held its annual winter seminar in Wabash. We focused largely on the practical, that which is needed in Indiana to promote liberty and happiness among the citizenry. The Declaration of Independence served as our Greek chorus, constantly reminding us of the philosophy of the founders and its eternal applicability to a free republic.
Given the seriousness of the topics under discussion, I refrained from channeling Dorothy Parker of Algonquin fame. Thomas Jefferson would have been better but I fall short of his eloquence.
And the best part of the weekend? Sports were hardly mentioned.
Mark Franke, M.B.A., an adjunct scholar of the Indiana Policy Review and its book reviewer, is formerly an associate vice-chancellor at Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne.
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