The Outstater

October 29, 2021

Fishing With Republicans

Republicanism is like my fly fishing — gratifyingly ineffective.

In honest self-appraisal, I have ranked my fishing skills in order of their current development. First of all is shopping for equipment and attire. That is followed somewhat distantly by knot-tying, pattern selection, casting with accuracy and finally fish catching.

Despite my dedication to the sport, anyone depending on me for a fish dinner is likely to be disappointed.

So it is with Republicanism. My GOP representative is impressive in marketing his brand. He has the art of sound bites and twitterisms down pat. He can be depended upon to channel public outrage into the most serious sounding calls for investigation or legislation. But no fish.

I know, I know. There are good reasons. Some days are too hot, others too cold, the wind is out of the east, they are spawning, and yet . . .

The U.S. Secretary of Transportation, as ships and trucks back up in a historical breakdown of the nation’s supply chain, is at home with his partner on parental leave. Much snarkiness ensues and the concept of parental leave is expanded beyond recognition but the fellow still holds his title as the rest of us talk about suspending Christmas. Somehow nobody gets around to fully discussing, sexual preferences aside, how miserably he failed at his job.

The administration, as the nation is debilitated by an epidemic, celebrates swearing in the first openly transgender four-star officer to serve in the U.S. Public Health Service. There is disagreement about whether the achievement should be recorded on the male or female side of the ledger or somewhere else entirely, but, again, nobody takes a look at the admiral’s sorry performance.

“A failure of Republican proportions,” is a phrase our friend Dinesh D’Souza is using more often. It is as if Republicans have acceded to rules under which they always must lose. If the issue of race, sexual identification or some other manifestation of social justice is raised, even dereliction and incompetence are out of bounds.

It’s like using barbless hooks. — tcl

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