Wanted: A Lawyer to Save the Law
Editor’s note: The author, an adjunct scholar, is appealing for legal help in filing a pro se complaint challenging the Republican and Democrat parties. Members can review his complaint draft elsewhere on this site.
by Andy Horning
George Washington warned us about political parties. Andrew Jackson waged war on the “den of vipers” central bankers. Woodrow Wilson described the “worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world.” Dwight Eisenhower revealed a “military-industrial complex.”
Even today’s politicians scold us about political corruption. Yet here we are with a government that’s embarrassingly, destructively, violently corrupt. It’s danged peculiar we all talk like we know it and then vote as if we don’t.
So I propose we make some changes. I intend to directly attack the monopolistic cartel we call the two-party system — a system based upon special deals for special people, and those special people have built amazing defenses against us regular folks.
To make those changes I will need help. For despite the Indiana Constitution’s clear mandate in Article I, Section 12, that “Justice shall be administered freely, and without purchase,” or the First Amendment’s unequivocal right to petition the government for a redress of grievances, our taxes do not pay for justice.
Sure, they pay for courts, lawyers and judges and such, not to mention professional sports, abortions in China, investments by Puerto Ricans and studying the gambling habits of monkeys. But your day in court? You pay through the nose for that.
For example, you’re not allowed to represent yourself in certain kinds of cases, one being a class-action suit that I’d like to press. And lawyers who would take such a case cost more money than any 100 of us 99 percenters could ever afford. That’s firewall #1 of “the system.”
Therefore, I can only bring suit on behalf of myself. And because there are special Latinate incantations for everything, including representing yourself, I would be precariously pro se. That still costs a lot of money, of course, and if I don’t fill out my forms correctly, or if I misspell Suvoir Dire, my case could be, ab irato, dismissed with prejudice, res judicata, with collateral estoppel, and absolutum dominium ad infinitum. I’d never even see the courtroom. That’s firewall #2.
And to whom would I be making this appeal? People who make their living off of all the division and discord created by corruption; people who are elite members of the private clubs we call the Democratic and Republican parties; people who have no desire to see me win my case and every reason to make me lose it. That’s firewall #3.
Finally, even the best, most fair-minded judges would understand that I’m seeking a huge structural, systematic change to our society and would be fearful of repercussions from making a correct, constitutional, fair judgment. What I’m asking, you see, would fundamentally change the way the United States works. That is firewall #4 (with an alligator-infested moat).
If I would make it to court, after breaching the various obstacles of legal discovery and more paperwork, it could end up costing me even more should the judge invoke lex talionis and make me pay all legal fees plus any pain and suffering I might cause the rich and mighty.
So, again, I could use some help. There are lawyers who are interested in true justice and hate corruption. There are people who have successfully fought “the system.” There are those who could support this project in innumerable ways. If you are one of them, please contact me at email@example.com.
Andrew M. Horning is an adjunct scholar of the Indiana Policy Review Foundation who lives in Freedom, Ind. The Republican candidate for the 7th Congressional District in 2004, Horning writes frequently on classical-liberal topics and is an expert on the federal and state constitutions.